Henlo, you have stumbled upon my page somehow, maybe it was intentional, maybe not, but anyways i appreciate you coming.
I'm an amateur artist who's still trying to grow and be better, even when depression gets in the way LMFAO
Enjoy your stay!
Male
Disappointment
Cool School
Purgatony
Joined on 3/15/21
Posted by Sprunkzy - November 12th, 2023
want to give up on everything and quit your hobbies because you fucking suck at everything and you will never be as good as everyone else who is progressing faster than you and do amazing shit while you just do stupid ass mediocre content but you can't because you need to finish your drawing bucket list so you don't have as many regrets when you quit???
God i want this to end, i don't want to do art anymore
(I am sorry for not sounding as inspirational as I could, because I already spend all of my energy I had left for today. Also: English is not my first language. As a direct result, this will sound like a drunk person wrote it, stumbling from one idea to the next, but I doubt I will have more time or energy this week, so here goes.)
Please note that I 'create creatively myself' as a hobby so I might get 'some' of your struggles, but I would not classify my output as "art" or "professional" - and there certainly isn't any money in what I do.
First: Basically what larrynachos already said. No need for you to think in extremes. You are "allowed" to not draw for a while you do or find something you enjoy more. You also might need a break regardless of your plans for the future. One of the great things that comes with 'being an adult' is being able to change your mind. 'Humans' change with age. They also change jobs. And change is scary. However, that change does not have to be 'forever' either. You can change direction lots of times. Just think things though and make preparations. Of course you cannot be prepared "perfectly" (which also wouldn't be feasible) but don't stumble into the future blindly.
Then I'd like to state the obvious by saying that art isn't subjective. There is no single artist who is "best" at technique, or coloring, or perspective, or [Whatever] who looks down at those who are not as "good" as them. We all look for different things we enjoy when we subject ourselves to art.
To switch genres from still images to video games for a second: I could claim that
'You Have To Burn The Rope' ( https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/432872 ) was the best game of all time, based on factors such as how easy it is to comprehend, how fast it can be beaten, that I can let a child play it without any worries, catchy song, rewarding ending, replayability, low system requirements... And the fact that I'm coming up with all of those categories out of thing air purely to prove my point that this 'is in fact' the best game of all time. But the one thing that really counts is "feels good" - and that is Individually different.
Now to clumsily stumble back to still images: What we enjoy isn't 'style X' (otherwise we would have to be worried about the highly polished stool sample that is 'AI generated images'), it is 'art as expression'.
Drawing, just like any other form of art, borrows from those who came before us. Storytellers have "stolen" from other storytellers since Homer's Odyssey, which in turn was probably influenced from stories before that - but arguably people hadn't been great with writing them down before and keeping their little regimes stable, so it took the world a while to notice that. So when you're "stealing" steal from the best - or rather: From whose work 'you like best'. Tony DiTerlizzi said about as much when he was once interviewed about his art style. I would say he eventually surpassed his inspirations and when I see his illustrations I don't think "That looks like 1986's 'Labyrinth'..." I think "This looks like a DiTerlizzi illustration came to life." when I watch 'Labyrinth'. :)
So do not worry about incorporating the work of other artists into your work, only worry whether or not you're doing a good job doing so.
And lastly: Humans need time and practice to learn skills or absorb knowledge. How quickly we can do so depends on factors unique to the individual and their approach. A good ability of abstraction will be a huge help. Receiving guidance from an expert in the field, or even better 'an expert who is also an experienced teacher', would help you gain some perspective on your current approach. But to return to the beginning: Your interest in whatever you're trying to improve on will play a key role in your progress. If you hate what you are doing, your progress will be slowed down significantly.
I am just a voice from the internet. I cannot teach you how to love art again. Maybe you can find another approach, a break, or a new perspective, but it's no use trying to 'force' yourself to like what you don't like. And I am _really_ sorry to say this, but it might take you years until you find any "real" motivation to draw again.
I wish you the best.
(It's ok if you don't have energy left, the fact you took your time to write all of this is enough, also don't worry about english not being your first language, it ain't mine either as much as it doesn't show according to people, and i still understood what you meant so no worries)
I know i shouldn't think to extreme points but that's sadly how i've always been, one of my countless flaws, idk if it's because i'm a perfectionist or something. i'm not sure if i can find something i "enjoy" more honestly, everything seems like it will go down the same path as art. Sometimes changes can be forever, and i think me quitting art would probably be one of those just to try and help my mental health because it's already bad and drawing doesn't really help either.
It doesn't really feel like it, there's lots of artists who are REALLY good at any of those elements, and i really wanted to be good at at least one of them and i can't no matter how much i try, even if my goal was to be good at everything i'm really far from achieving it anyways.
I guess you're right about things being good depending on the person who subjects themselves to it and how they experience it. In my case i really most of the art i see from really great artists and the like, yet when it comes to my stuff i don't really see that, it all seems... Putrid. I see all the flaws, my mistakes and my failures in them, i remember the stress i suffered while working on them, all of those bad feelings i see them in my work, and even without those feelings my works are objectively bad/mediocre at best.
Ok yeah i agree with that, i know i shouldn't feel bad about stealing from other people but ig i just really wanted something to call my own, but ig everyone does it, i'll just try to incorporate said elements i'm getting from other people in at least a decent way until i finally decide to quit.
Fully aware not everyone will do shit on the same speed as others but there's just so many people who are talented and skilled and learn at decent or a fast pace and i really wanted to do that as well, it makes me real jealous to be honest with you, I don't really have anyone i know who could help me with art, i don't wanna bother people either, and i really want to do this alone because i want to be able to do something on my own for once. I wish i wouldn't feel forced by myself to the point of hating art so i could achieve what i want but i don't think that's really going to happen as that happens to me with anything i do ngl.
I don't care if you are a voice on the internet, the fact you were willing to help shows me you are a good person and, even if i can't really follow some of the advice you said due to my own stubborness, i'm really thankful that you wanted to advice me either way. Honestly it's ok if i never love art again, it was stupid of me to think i could just do anything in the way i wanted to, and i can live with that, even if it means i'll become a boring office worker or something. Also ok with taking years to find motivation once again, even then after those years pass i'll probably be over this and won't have the need to return to art, maybe i'll be happier maybe i won't, but at least i won't have to suffer through these heartbreaks anymore.
Thank you once again for everything, hope you have good luck in your journey as well, and don't commit the same mistakes as i did, you're a really great person.
larrynachos
Ultimately you are in control of what you do. If you don't want to make art, don't! Then in a few months when inspiration strikes, pick the pen back up! There are no rules! If you want to explore other mediums like music for a little bit, it can help ease any drawing burnout.
ALSO, don't feel discouraged if you find yourself surrounded by people more skilled than you! Don't compare yourself to them, because you aren't them. You're you! Reach out to them, collaborate with them, learn from them!
I think we all have that moment when we realize our content isn't "up to snuff", when previously the novel fact we were making stuff at all was rewarding enough. It's the dunning kruger effect, and you've finally reached the valley of despair, but don't fret! It's all uphill from here!
Sprunkzy
I really appreciate the words, but honestly that doesn't seem like a great idea to me. Everyone else is working hard and has motivation to do tons of things and pracrice really well thanks to that and achieve skills. I really wanted to have achieved this by 17 already but i still draw like a 4th grader. There might be no rules but i put my own rules to everything i do, i needed to achieve this. This was my dream. But i couldn't. I don't even think i'm fit for other mediums, i'm not made for that.
I wish i could, but i'm sadly jealous of a lot of people and i have tried to change but i never can, i just hide that shit. I tried mimicking and copying stuff from other people (as bad as that sounds) and i can't achieve what i want with those techniques, i can't achieve what i want with art in general.
I had that moment of feeling good about making something for the last time like..... Maybe 5 years ago? I don't know. I feel like i've been in that valley for a lifetime and barely remember the last time i enjoyed drawing. It's nice that you say it goes uphill but idk, maybe not for me.
I'm really thankful for taking your time to say some encouraging words, i'm thankful to everyone who has done the same as well, at least i'm glad people care about me, but it's too late for me honestly. It has been a long time and i have not improved, it's clear i don't have the talent and the skills to fulfill this silly dream of mine, it's my fault for having thought about pursuing it in the first place, It's ok, i'll learn to live with disappointment like i always have. I'll probably put focus on like, getting a stable job or something. Thanks man tho, like i said i appreciate it a lot.